The latest rage on Instagram is about Boys Locker Room Stories. Dont want to get into the details of what the boys said. In short, they are discussing about calling a girl out and planning to rape her. It’s disgusting when I read it.
At the same time, we as a society need to find solutions too. Just criticising the boys or naming them in front of their families or maybe even subjecting them to some legal action will not be a permanent solution. Am not saying no to doing all this, but this is just a temporary solution. Will this not continue later? Rather it would with such type of boys being more alert about their chats and the ways to keep people away from them.
Let’s talk about long term solutions.
1. The families should be more engaging with growing kids, irrespective of gender of the child. Parents need to spend more time with kids, talk to them about their thought processes and problems. Talk and accept the thoughts of the younger generation with an open mind.
2. The society too needs to mould itself somewhere at some juncture which I think has arrived. The society too needs to see the relations between kids with an open mind, treat them as good friends and give them the space to spend time with each other. In no ways I am advocating spending time alone, but in publicly space without offending anyone.
3. The education system talks about sex education and educating kids thus. We have been doing this from a long time now yet the eagerness to know, to understand has led to different problems of such kinds we are discussing today. The system needs to educate the kids the right and the wrong, atleast when it comes to physical relationships. They need to mould them better. Teachers are the best people to mould their students in their teen age.
4. Openness in thoughts does not mean that we can talk about anybody or anything in the most weirdest of the manners. There is a limitation to this too. Kids need to made to understand the importance of values and especially boys need to be made to have a good outlook towards girls. Not to treat them as objects of pleasure or fun. Freedom to express comes with responsibilities needs to be emphasized.
5. There should be healthy discussions and debates amongst the younger generation on how to think, what to think and let them evolve through their thought process. At the same time, these discussions and debates need to facilitated by including the thoughts of wisdom from our books and experiences of our elders. The moderator needs to have a balanced view and should not be swayed by any one thought process.
In the same breath, I say, there will be many solutions to these problems but we as responsible humans and people need to come out and talk about them.
I personally am not shocked at what has happened cause this must be happening for a long time now. It has just seen the light now, that’s all. It’s the right time to strike when the iron is hot. Am happy that many boys are coming out very strongly against such things. So am positive that not all boys are bad. There may be a distracted or disillusioned few but we need to get them back too as they too are our kids.
The candle light vigils will only highlight the problem, not help us find solutions.
The girls can protect themselves. They do not need protection. We need to change our way of looking towards them.
It is high time that we as a just society sit, think, discuss and find a solution.